How to deal with overwhelming emotions?

Many of us balance work responsibilities, household chores, family and social relationships and more – and sometimes feel overwhelmed by the demands placed on us.

But for others, overwhelming emotions can be a sign of deeper psychological distress. ‘ADHD overwhelm’ is a term used to describe the intense feelings and responses experienced by those with ADHD, when faced with multiple stressors.

But what exactly causes ADHD overwhelm? And how can you help those around you when they’re displaying the signs?

In this guide, Dr Lisa Williams explores how overwhelming emotions can uniquely impact those with ADHD, and how you can help them to cope during tough times.

ADHD overwhelm is similar to the ‘typical’ feelings of overwhelming emotions experienced by everyone from time to time. These occur when we’re faced with multiple stressors that demand our attention. 

This sensation often inhibits our ability to think clearly and prioritise our response to the demands or tasks.

But for people with ADHD, these feelings – and their response to them – can be much more intense. This is due to the differences in how neurotransmitters (chemical messengers) work in those with and without ADHD.

When neurotypical people experience stressful situations, their neurotransmitters will send messages to their brain to identify and prioritise what they need to do – and start doing it. 

This might involve making a to-do list of their various tasks, and completing them in order of their importance. Or it might simply allow them to think more clearly when chatting to people in social environments.

However, these neurotransmitters can be impaired or disrupted in those with ADHD. This makes it difficult for their bodies to communicate messages about how to deal with the different causes of stress. Instead, they’re more likely to succumb to feelings of intense emotion.

While ADHD overwhelm can initially feel similar to the emotional response experienced by neurotypical people, it can quickly lead to more unmanageable symptoms.

Some people with ADHD might experience a mental block, while others will experience the opposite – an intense overcoming of emotion.

Ultimately, it can lead to different longer-term responses, too. Some might freeze and shut down for a while, while others might eventually start to cry or lash out at those around them.

People with ADHD can often struggle to regulate their emotions in the same way as those without the condition. This can make it more difficult to cope with feelings of stress – and lead to them feeling overwhelmed all the time.

And while neurotypical people might be able to function calmly in the face of everyday stresses, those with ADHD are more likely to get overwhelmed more easily.

Another reason some people with ADHD feel overwhelmed all the time is that it can be more difficult for them to ‘bounce back’ from these feelings. 

This is because ADHD can affect memory and emotional regulation – making it harder to contextualise and rationalise tasks and an appropriate emotional response to them. These faculties are key in helping us return to a ‘normal’ state after experiencing overwhelming emotions, and deal with what’s in front of us.

However, to fully understand why you’re regularly feeling overwhelmed, it’s also important to learn what’s causing these feelings. Examples of common triggers in people with ADHD include:

• Work tasks – Work life often means balancing multiple responsibilities and deadlines. At times, these can simply feel like too much, especially when several projects start to overlap.

• Social media and apps – When we open apps, whether it’s emails or social media like Instagram or X, we’re often exposed to tens or hundreds of posts and messages at once. This can cause feelings of overwhelming emotion, especially when the content is personal to us and demands our attention or a response.

• Money worries – Whether it’s budgeting or paying bills, financial tasks can often cause waves of overwhelming stress. This is unsurprising, as these tasks often require us to simultaneously balance mathematical demands with the natural emotional response all of us feel when it comes to money.

• Overstimulation – Those with ADHD might feel overwhelmed when exposed to intense experiences that affect the senses. This might include squeezing onto a packed train, sitting in a loud sports stadium or even socialising in large groups at a party.

If you find these experiences are starting to impact your quality of life – or are witnessing it in someone you love – it’s important to develop coping mechanisms to understand and manage your symptoms…

All of us get stressed or overwhelmed at times. And it’s impossible to always feel in control of everything around us.

But it can be possible to cope with overwhelming emotions, and limit how much they impact our lives.

Some healthy habits can help us avoid the negative impact of overwhelm and allow us to bounce back quicker when we feel overcome with emotion. 

If you’re experiencing ADHD overwhelm – or know a loved one who is, and want to support them – consider trying these steps:

• Take a break – Overwhelming emotions are caused by multiple stressors or stimuli. So, it can help to take a step back from what you’re doing, to avoid adding to your plate. This doesn’t mean avoiding your responsibilities, but it’s important to get your heart rate back to normal before tackling your to-do list with calmness and clarity.

• Mindfulness – Feeling overwhelmed often starts with a single challenge, before other tasks enter the mix and it starts to feel like everything’s spiralling out of control. Practising mindfulness can stop these escalating thoughts and temporarily clear your mind. This might include simple breathwork or even using apps designed to facilitate short meditation sessions.

• Write it down – Part of the challenge with overwhelming emotions is that they’re often triggered by multiple, competing stimuli. This can make it difficult to process and understand each one individually. Some people with ADHD benefit from visualising their challenges – so, writing everything down may make their list of tasks appear more manageable.

• Seek support – If you’ve tried the strategies above and are still struggling, you may want to seek further support. A professional clinician will be able to signpost you towards formal support, and help you explore the possibility of ADHD medication, if this is right for you.

If you or someone you know is struggling with signs of ADHD overwhelm, consider seeking professional support. This often starts with a formal diagnosis.

An Adult ADHD Assessment with The Autism Service can identify the signs of ADHD and help you get the support needed to thrive.

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