Autism & Attachment Theory in Children

Children naturally develop bonds with their caregivers – and can struggle with being more independent as they get older.

But when these experiences start to negatively impact their lives and wellbeing, it might be a sign of something deeper.

Attachment difficulties are common in those who have experienced early childhood trauma. It can also be a sign of autism. But how do these traits overlap and is it possible to understand the unique causes in individuals?

In this guide, Dr Lisa Williams explores attachment theory and the difficulties some children can face – and looks at the relationship between attachment and autism.

Attachment theory explains how the bond between a child and their primary caregiver is crucial for their social, emotional, cognitive and psychological development.

This bond is typically formed in the early years of life, and can influence personal relationships for the rest of your life. Every experience we have impacts how we view ourselves, others and the world around us – but these early experiences have a disproportionate influence.

Attachment relationships are primarily formed out of a desire for safety. Children are biologically primed to seek closeness to caregivers for protection and comfort.

This sense of security in the attachment relationships is developed through repetition – where responsive caregivers demonstrate a pattern of reliably meeting the needs of the developing child.

When comfort and protection are not provided, children can develop different strategies to cope.

Children whose caregiver relationships are developed amid a backdrop of early trauma, loss, stress and instability can develop attachment difficulties.

They can be highly sensitive to situations that others might not perceive as worrying or dangerous. And even objectively mild or innocuous experiences can produce hyperarousal and difficulty regulating emotions and behaviour.

Those with attachment difficulties may demonstrate survival responses – like fight, flight or freeze – or practice defensive, self-protective behaviours, where others don’t see any danger.

For example, children experiencing attachment difficulties might refuse typical signs of affectionate relationships, like hugs. These responses might even spread into other aspects of their lives, and they might start to underperform at school or generally start misbehaving more often.

While anyone can develop attachment difficulties, some research indicates there are higher rates in those with autism spectrum disorder (ASD), compared with neurotypical individuals.

ASD is a neurodevelopmental condition characterised by challenges in social interaction, communication and restricted or repetitive behaviours. It affects people in different ways.

Due to the large crossover in traits, it can be difficult to differentiate between ASD and attachment. Research even suggests they can co-occur. So, it’s important for those assessing for ASD to fully explore all possible explanations that may account for the individual’s presentation.

One potential explanation for the relationship between ASD and attachment is that caregivers may be more likely to experience particular stressors than other parents. This might happen when there’s a disconnect between an autistic child’s needs and their caregiver’s ability to respond to them.

For example, a caregiver might become frustrated by the child’s behaviour – such as repetition, sensory overload or meltdowns – and start to withdraw affection or become more distant. The parent or carer may not even realise this is happening, but it can have a lasting impact on the child.

Some of the traits commonly associated with ASD can overlap with those linked to attachment difficulties. For example:

· Difficulty regulating emotions: Emotions may be difficult to understand, express and tolerate – leading to explosive outbursts as well as withdrawals or shutdown. Both groups can also be more sensitive to stressors and have a greater propensity to function in their survival zone (fight, flight, freeze).

· Challenges with Executive Function: Executive functions are a collection of processes that are responsible for guiding, directing and managing cognitive, emotional and behavioural functions – most notably problem solving and decision making. Both of these populations can struggle with tasks or situations that require higher levels of attention and concentration, and engaging their problem-solving skills.

· Processing, integrating and organising sensory information: Those with ASD and attachment difficulties can find this a challenge, often leading to avoidance and the seeking out of certain sensory experiences.

· Managing social situations and interactions: There may be a tendency to avoid certain social situations, as well as difficulties associated with understanding others and communicating their needs and forming and maintaining relationships.

· Repetitive and restrictive behaviours: Individuals may be seen to show a strong attachment to certain objects and insist on adhering to specific routines and repetitions.

The literature around ASD and attachment is conflicting. As we’ve seen, some research suggests there can be higher rates of attachment difficulties among children with ASD.

However, other research indicates that secure attachment relationships can be common in those with an ASD diagnosis.

This is because, even though the interplay between ASD and attachment presents unique challenges, it also offers opportunities to develop a greater understanding of our uniquely human selves.

For example, the parent of someone with ASD might have to practice greater patience and spend more time learning about their child’s unique traits – such as sensitivity to loud noises. The parent supports the child by creating safe spaces for them to thrive without these distractions. As the child grows, they develop a deeper appreciation for this parental dedication and, as a result, nurture healthy feelings of love and trust.

Ultimately, there continues to be much-needed research in this particular area to enhance our understanding of individual needs.

Are you worried your child is showing signs of attachment difficulties? It may or may not be a sign of autism – but getting a clinical diagnosis can help you access more targeted support.

Child Autism Assessments with The Autism Service are led by our clinicians and involve interviews and observational assessments. They are designed to identify signs of autism and act as the first step to getting the support that’s right for your child.

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